Mark Darcy's Inner Thoughts
by tricksy
Summary: THIS WON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE. So, this is based on the 1st movie and involves all of the scene's Mark Darcy was in, but with what I think he might be thinking. It includes a few scenes not in the movie and begins before the Turk


(Darcy residence) "Mark love, why aren't you wearing your new jumper?"

_Good God, she can't be serious._

"Mother, I thought perhaps this shirt would be…well, a bit more fitting for a buffet." _Yes, that sounded right... poor Mum. _

"Oh, don't be silly darling, it's Christmas and a reindeer is far more festive than dark blue. Besides I already told Pamela how dashing you look in it, she'll be expecting it dear."

_Damn. _

"Mm, yes I, I guess I'll just go change then."_ Why does this happen every year?. _

(Calling up the stairs) "Oh, and Mark dear, while your up there comb your hair, I want you to look nice for Bridget!" _What is she on about? "_You remember Pamela's daughter? The girl who used to swim naked in your paddling pool? She's coming home and will be at the buffet! Single! Just thought you ought to know, dear!"

_Ahh! Why did I come here? Bridget? That little blonde thing? Sorry Mother but your jumper is all the effort I'm willing to make today. I'm a grown man who just happens to be single. Hm, better go._

"Mark! Oh, you look wonderful! It's been far too long! And wearing the reindeer jumper I heard so much about. Green's quite your colour. Still divorced are you? Yes? Mm, well my Bridget's coming downstairs any time now, changing her gloomy clothing, and I'll be sure to introduce you! Mini gherkin? No? Well, go get yourself a drink, there's a good boy."

_...Get me out of here! I don't even know who half these people are and this damn jumper is getting bloody uncomfortable. Maybe I'll just go get…_

"Mark? This is Bridget! And, (blah blah blah)…ahh yes, sorry, lumpy gravy calls!"

Bridget: "So, are you staying at your parents' house for New Year?…"

_Hm, alright, I'll just keep this short. Light conversation, not too bad as long as she gets the hint and realizes I'm not looking to meet anyone. Not too bad looking I suppose. Interesting outfit…Ok, all I can take._

"Yes, well maybe it's time to..eat." _Ah, that worked._

_(later on) Oh. Oh no, she just heard me. Oh Jesus, I feel bad. Wait, maybe she didn't hear me. God, of course she did, why the hell didn't I see who was around before opening my mouth. I didn't mean to insult her, I just don't want to be here! Well Darcy you're quite the gentleman today, embarrassing the hostesses' daughter. I don't even know her! Let this buffet be over…_

Ch. 2 (at the launch)

"…and so the Smithson case will just have to be reevaluated."

"Yes, Natasha, and I've already made the first appointment with Charles."

"Ahh, good. Now, if you'll excuse me Mark, I'm going to go find the toilets."

_Hm, the case should really go well. I'm ahead of schedule and Natasha's made some positive contributions. Ok, will try to relax a bit. Damn good champagne. Now if…oh… it's Bridget Jones._

"What are you doing here?" asked Bridget.

"I've been asking myself the same question. I came with a colleague. So how are you?" _Ok, better at least than the last time I was around her. Polite. Simple. Hm, that black dress doesn't look bad. Much better than…did she just mention my jumper? And whose this?_

"Ahh, Perpetua, this is Mark Darcy. He's a top barrister," said Bridget._Hm, that was nice of her. Sweet really after the way I spoke about her…alright introductions I can do...Hah, I seem to have embarrassed her with that paddling pool comment…Good God, is that Cleaver? Oh I knew I shouldn't have come._

(later that evening, Mark listening to people talk). _Well, tonight's not terrible I suppose. Some good conversation, a tad dull I suppose. Oh there's Bridget again. Hah, her introductory speech was certainly original. Think I'll just go over and give her some company. Ah. Cleaver. Cleaver walking off with Bridget. Fine. Arrogant asshole. Wonder how they know each other?_

(at weekend trip with Natasha)

"So Mark, I've got the itinerary, there's a tour of the gardens at 2:00 and I thought we could look over the deposition over dinner in the Oaks room. We of course will see the Alconbury's rockery tomorrow, but I think we better hurry if we want to have time for paddling, does that suit you?"

"Yes of course, I'll bring the document Natasha. We'll go now, if you want."

"Oh, and I was wondering how your accomodations were, I mean, my room seems lovely but of course there's no telling what my sleep is going to be like here. Countryside is all well and good, but I can never seem to rest properly in these massive beds. So alienating. So how does yours fair?

_Hmm? Why is she...better keep this professional. Not that she's getting at anything. Is she?_

"Uh, seems quite suitable. Very comfortable room. So...I suppose we should get to the boats."...

(coming to front desk area)

Natasha: "...you do the boats, I'll do the tea. Oh, Jesus"

_What is she... Bridget Jones? With Cleaver again. I suppose they're together now. God. Better say hello._

"Well well, I take it you're headed for the Alconbury's rockery."

"Yes, that's right," said Bridget._ Hm, wonder what happened to her hair?_

"I brought Natasha. Get a bit of work done. I might make it not an entirely wasted weekend."

Cleaver: "How interesting. What a gripping life you do lead." _Stay calm._

(paddling)

Natasha: "Well, the weakness of their case lies in the deposition they made on August..."

"Season of mist and mellow fruitlessness..." _Bridget looks happy, pretty smile. Ahh, pretty laugh too. But why on earth Cleaver? What did he tell her anyway?_

Cleaver: "There was a young woman from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling..." _Jesus Christ. I think you said that one quite enough in Cambridge Cleaver. Not funny then either. Oh!...and now you're wet. Idiot...Seriously, though, why Cleaver?_


End file.
